Current mood:

disappointed

Same Old Story, I Should Have Seen it Coming.

Yesterday I returned from a weekend in Webster, New York, where the 14U rep girls fastpitch team I coach participated in a rainy, poorly planned tournament. We've played better for sure, but that's besides the point. I'm drained. I'm drained of energy, of positivity and of optimism. I honestly want to crawl under a rock and never coach again. Sometimes the parents on a team are so bloody ridiculous that I want to scream. It happened when I played and I know that it happens to the best of us coaches at any given time. But when the girls are having fun, are being played fairly, have never had an onfield squabble or been yelled at for making an error and have developed way more than they could have going to some of these other teams at a tier two level, what right does a parent have to accost me and call me inexperienced? What right does this angry couple have to bring their daughter into my hotel room and ask why the hell we've been deflating her confidence? Especially when the poor player is banging her head against the wall (honestly, arms crossed, in tears) begging her parents to just shut up? When I run into girls from other teams that I helped coach last year, they tell me how they can't wait to play for me, Sarah, Rob and Katie. Everywhere we go other coaches are amazed that 23 and 24 year old girls would give up so much of their time to such a cause. But can certain parents on our team see that? No. Can they see that their daughter is happy? No. All they care about is winning! 

- Eleven months of the past year have been devoted to this team
- Each week I spend six out of seven days on this team, whether it be games, practice, dealing with sitches, emails or just planning
- Although this is volunteer, I have spent about $1500 out of my own pocket to coach this team 
- I am not related to one single girl on the roster

I should be at the bar with my friends or finding another job to save for my future. Instead I have angry emails and people yelling at me in hotel hallways in other countries. 

I want to quit...to crawl under a rock and hide until I can find energy for something else that benefits me for a change.